i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
