Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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