So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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