It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
