If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
