I'm jealous of your bromance
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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