So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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