He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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