U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can u get pink eye on your cock?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize