so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
