fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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