): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
