When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
