I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The power of my boobs compel you
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
