i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
