We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
my poor anus
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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