The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
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