i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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