i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
