she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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