I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize