when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
