last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
