She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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