Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
