Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
