Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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