Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize