He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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