imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
