your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
