So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
