i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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