I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
