That reminds me...we need to get swords
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
