I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
