Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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