Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
