Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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