Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
