I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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