whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
