I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
