i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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