3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize