check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
