i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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