still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
