We named our party play list daddy issues
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
