Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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