Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
