Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
