be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
