weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
