remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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