Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
