You're earring is so big in my mouth
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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