areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
