I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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